I Just Want to Try One Thing
by Addicted to Edward Cullen
Summary: AU. Secretly attracted to Edward, Jasper uses his ability to turn him on. Sticks to canon storyline and characters, except for the obvious.


Title: I Just Want to Try One Thing

Category: slash

Rating: M

Summary: AU. Secretly attracted to Edward, Jasper uses his ability to turn him on. Sticks to canon storyline and characters, except for the obvious.

Disclaimer: I'm sure you know by now that I don't own anything about the Twilight universe. I just really like Edward and Jasper to play around together.

A/N: I am considering continuing the story, but it won't be for a while. This is my first slash and the closest thing to a lemon I've written so far. How did I do?

* * *

The house was strangely quiet, even for a house that was home to seven vampires. My fingers paused on the piano keys as I realized why the silence was so unusual.

Emmett and Rosalie were somewhere across the world on their third honeymoon. Alice had dragged Esme out to go shopping. Carlisle was at the hospital working his usual twelve-hour shift. Jasper was upstairs in his bedroom, and I was sitting at my piano. We were the only two left in the house.

Jasper had joined our family only a few years ago and although I could read his thoughts, I still felt that there was much I didn't know about him. He told us his history when he first came to us but he hadn't talked about it since. We could see how it distressed him, so we didn't bring it up either. I alone could see how his past affected him, but still I felt there was much he held back even in his thoughts. Alice, his mate, had arrived at our home with him but she was an open book. She wouldn't shut up sometimes..

I couldn't hear him. He wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing. He wasn't _thinking_. When I listened – really listened – for his thoughts, all I could make out was the soft humming of a tune I didn't recognize. It didn't sound much like a melody at all, in fact. More like…he was making it up as he went along.

My curiosity instantly piqued. What was he doing? Was something wrong? In my thirty-odd years of being a vampire, I'd never known one to be _that _still, _that _silent, for so long. I raced up the stairs, my mind practically aching to know what he was doing. And why.

He was standing at the window in his bedroom, wearing only pants, with his back to the door. He didn't acknowledge my presence, although he surely heard every move I'd made. I took this to mean he wished to be alone.

Just as I was about turn and leave, a rush of arousal washed over me. It was sudden and unexpected. Ah…he must be waiting for Alice, missing her. Certainly best to leave him be if his emotions were overwhelming him to the point that he was pushing them outward unintentionally.

What really shocked me was the sudden despair I felt upon turning away from him. I'd never felt about anyone the way Jasper felt about Alice. I was the only one in my family without a mate. Carlisle had Esme, Emmett had Rosalie, Jasper had Alice. Only I was alone. Still, it'd never depressed me _this_ much. This was almost like…rejection.

_No, not Alice._

I hadn't yet left the room when I heard his thoughts for the first time in hours. Not Alice? I turned back to look at him, confused. If not Alice, then…?

The confusion melted away as I stared at his back. It was as if I were seeing him for the first time. His honey-blond hair that fell in curls over the back of his neck. The thick muscles – larger and more pronounced than mine – that lined his back. The many, many scars scattered across his shoulders and upper back and down his arms that would forever remind him of the horrors of his past.

The urge to touch him, to gently run my fingers over those scars as though I could erase them, overwhelmed me. I stood directly behind him, my breathing heavy and erratic, before I even realized I'd made the decision to go to him.

I raised one hand and gently stroked one of the crescent-shaped scars on his shoulder. He sucked in a breath at my touch. His breaths were even more erratic than mine were. He kept his thoughts hidden from me still, but the humming became as irregular as his breathing.

He turned to face me then and for the briefest of moments, I was scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of seeing disgust in his eyes.

My fears were unfounded and melted away as his golden eyes, the same shade as my own, stared down into mine.

"Edward," he gasped.

The sound of my name in his strangled voice caused another wave of arousal to flood my body. My erection strained against my pants. _My erection?  
_

The next moment, Jasper was pressing me against the wall on the other side of the room, chest to chest. His lips attacked mine, and his hands curled into my hair, tugging gently. It felt amazing. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. I could feel the undeniable bulge in his pants digging into my hip.

His control gave out, and a thousand of his thoughts bombarded me at once. I could see now that he'd been controlling my emotions. He'dbeen _making _me aroused. Manipulating me.

A small piece of my brain told me to be angry with him, to pull away from him. But his emotional control was too strong. I didn't want to pull away from him. I wanted to pull him closer, closer, and closer still.

His right hand raked down my chest, tearing off my shirt in the process. I gasped into his mouth when his fingers brushed against my bare chest. In response, his left hand, still tangled in my hair, tightened and pulled more and he pressed even harder against me. We could both hear the wall starting to crack against our weight.

He slid his hands down my sides, past my hips, to the backs of my thighs. Effortlessly, he lifted me up, hitching my legs around his waist. Of course, I knew that my weight was nothing for him – just as his weight would be to me – but I'd never been held like this before. It made me feel small and vulnerable, and to my surprise, I found myself melting into him.

Jasper pulled his lips away abruptly and leaned his forehead against mine. His eyes stared into mine for a quarter of a second, and then he carried me to the bed.

"Jasper, I don't…" I hated that my voice sounded so weak, so hoarse, as if I had no power to refuse him. My own nervousness about the situation tried to overcome his control.

"Shhhh…," he whispered against my lips as he lay atop me. _Don't worry._ _Just feel._

What little protests I had dissolved as he pushed another wave of lust over me. He kissed a trail from my lips to my throat.

_You are so beautiful, even for a vampire. But so alone and so sad._

A moan escaped my lips. The swirling of his tongue against my neck combined with his words…it was too much.

_Yes… follow your instincts…_

Instincts? There was nothing about this that was instinctual. I knew I held no attraction to Jasper, but here I was, lying beneath him in his bed. And yet… yet… my arms wound their way around his waist, and I pulled his hips down as I tilted mine up.

_Yes… exactly…_

My entire body was throbbing, yearning for a release I didn't know how to achieve. Jasper began moving, creating a friction against my erection that felt divine. Yes! _This_ was what I needed. I moved with him. He was right about instincts. Somehow, my body knew what to do even though I'd never done this before.

I hoped he felt the way I did, that I was doing it right for him. I really had no idea. What if what I liked wasn't what he liked? He was experienced, at least with Alice. I didn't know about his sexual history but I wasn't sure I wanted to know, either.

He seemed to sense my anxiety. _You're doing great. Feels so good. Relax and let yourself go._

He dropped his head to my shoulder and moaned as he increased the speed of his pelvis. I matched his speed, and then a thought occurred to me. Although all vampires are fast, I was able to move faster than any of my family members. Faster and faster I pumped against him, and he tried to keep up with me, moaning again. My hands slid up his back, silky smooth until my fingers crossed the scars on his shoulders. Fisting my hands into his hair, I pulled his head up.

He was so lost in the lust. His eyes were half-closed, and his breathing was heavy and erratic. I pressed my lips and tongue against his throat, mimicking the motions he'd made on my neck.

_Yes… yes… yes…_

His thoughts became incoherent after that, and a low growl rumbled from his chest. I increased the speed of my hips again but he could no longer keep up. He collapsed against me, letting me take control.

Strength and confidence flooded my body. I flipped us over so I was on top of him, and this time, _I _growled. But it wasn't the same kind of growl he'd let out. I was claiming my dominance. _He_ had lost all control – of his thoughts, of his emotions, of his body – and _I_ had brought this feeling to him. Pride and smugness swelled within me.

But so did something else. As I continued to stroke my hips against his, as fast and as close to him as I could, the throbbing doubled. Tripled. I felt as though I was on the edge of a knife, ready to fall over the edge. _Needing _to fall over the edge.

I had vague memories of feeling like this before but not nearly as intense. They were human memories, from the few times I'd taken it in my own hands to relieve teenage frustrations. This was the first time as a vampire I'd felt like this.

"Oh…my…God," I gasped against the side of his neck where I'd been sucking. "Jasper, I – I –"

I realized that I was about to hit my climax, and I panicked, all sense of confidence draining. Was this what I was supposed to do? Would it disgust Jasper? I didn't know what to do. I tried to stop thrusting against him, but at best, all I could do was slow down. I needed this so badly; I couldn't stop now.

_Don't stop. Finish. Please. It's all right._

I picked up my speed again, and he moaned. Twice.

"Edward, yes, that's it…," he cried out as his body began to quiver.

I pressed against his hips tightly as my body tensed. I screamed his name as I felt the venom shoot out of me in multiple waves, soaking through my clothes.

I collapsed onto him, the bed frame groaning in protest against the sudden weight. We were both panting, unable to catch our breaths but still trying, even though we didn't really need the air we were so desperately trying to draw into our lungs.

Jasper was completely spent. I could feel my mind clearing as his control over my emotions gave way. I leapt from the bed and crossed the room. The venom was drying in a sticky mess on my skin. I felt dirty, disgusting, used.

I turned to leave the room, but Jasper blocked my way.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I –"

"Get out of my way," I growled at him, shoving him away. Cruel, manipulating vampire.

He grabbed my arm, squeezing almost to the point of pain. "Just listen for a minute. Please?" _Please, let me explain._

I tried to pull my arm away, but he was just slightly stronger than I was. "Explain what? How you _manipulated _me?"

He sighed. "I…I have been fascinated by you. You smell… sweeter somehow… than any other vampire I've ever met. If you were human, I could only imagine…" His voice trailed off and he shuddered. I saw the image in his mind, my body beneath his, blood dipping from his lips.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, clearing the image away. "Living with you, I just couldn't get rid of the idea. I had to know how your lips would feel against mine, how it would feel to run my hands through your hair…It's been nearly impossible to hide my thoughts from you all this time."

He swallowed and looked down. I could feel the remorse and sadness he felt at upsetting me, and to his credit, he didn't try to use his power to convince me to forgive him.

"So you had your fun. I hope it was worth it for you," I snapped.

He raised his head to met my eyes. His were so full of sadness that I almost felt badly for him. "Edward, I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to go so far. I was stupid…yes, I manipulated your emotions from the beginning. Hiding my thoughts, making you curious, making you aroused. I didn't anticipate the…the vicious cycle. The more waves of lust I sent to you, the more lust _you _gave off to me, and it just continued to radiate between us."

He swallowed and took a deep breath. I'd never seen him look so vulnerable. "You didn't feel anything? Anything beyond what I pushed to you, I mean?"

"No," I stated firmly. Unemotionally. It was cruel, I knew. But it was the truth.

Wasn't it?

He dropped my arm and turned away. I stormed off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Small fissures grew into the wall surrounding the doorframe. Oh, for the love of all that is holy, now I'd have to fix that before Esme gets home. Jasper could deal with the wall in his room himself.

Under the spray of water in the shower, I tried to drown out Jasper's mental self-loathing. I refused to feel sorry for him.

As I scrubbed away against my skin, I heard Alice and Esme pull into the driveway. Great.

_I will kill him. Absolutely kill him. Rip him into tiny pieces._

Alice's mental voice was so loud she might as well have been standing right next to me. Alice. I'd been so angry about being used that I didn't even think about how she would feel about Jasper's betrayal.

I should warn him at least. Get between them before it got too vicious.

The hell with that! He brought this upon himself!

I was so busy arguing with myself that Alice's next words didn't even register at first.

"Jazz, Jazz, Jazz… I'm so sorry. That's not how it was supposed to happen. I came home as soon as I saw the vision change." Her voice was soothing and sweet, exactly the opposite of her mental screaming a moment ago.

She was… comforting him?

Did anything make sense anymore?

The door to the bathroom was thrown open.

_EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN! You have some explaining to do, you stupid ass!_

Alice pushed the shower curtain back without even the decency to avert her eyes. I turned the water off and reached for a towel.

"Alice! How about a little privacy?" I growled.

_Privacy is the only reason I'm talking to you mentally right now. I should be screaming at you and tearing you apart. Poor Jazz is so embarrassed about what happened. He doesn't want Esme to know._

"'Poor Jazz'? He's the one who used _me_!" I hissed at her. "Why aren't you upset at _him_?"

_You stupid idiot. You really think I didn't know how he felt about you? You think I didn't help plan it for him? I give him _anything _he wants! What the hell happened?_

I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. She knew? She helped plan this? I saw a flash of a vision then: Jasper and I lying together on the bed, his hand caressing my cheek gently. We both looked peaceful, happy to be enjoying each other's company.

I stepped back, shaking my head. "No. No, that's not how it happened."

_I know that, you ass. I also saw what _did _happen. Why the change? He gave you the best feeling you've ever had as a vampire. What went wrong?_

"That wasn't me. That was him controlling me. I didn't want that!"

Alice raised her eyebrows. _Oh, no? I say you did, or I wouldn't have had that first vision. You just decided to get on your high horse. I think you're really angrier with yourself than you are with him._

She turned on her heel and left the room. As she left, I saw more images in her head: Jasper and I embracing… Jasper smiling at me… Alice, Jasper, and I lying in bed together…

I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me. What _was _all that?Were they visions she had, things that would happen? Were they obsolete now? Or were they her fantasies, things that _could_ happen?

No. They couldn't happen.

Could they?

_Stop fighting it, Edward. That future is there for you. _Alice's mental voice was so smug that she didn't even have to add the "I told you so." _If you want it._

Did I want it?


End file.
